someone told me, if you're not strong-willed enough, studying psychology can change you. i can imagine myself turning into a paranoid, always wondering what people mean what they say. i should stand by my own principles. i'm too easily swayed by people's words, and i definitely am bothered much by what people think of me.

my character needs building!!

first things first, what are my basic principles?!?!

gone case.

in uni there are much lesser trustworthy friends you can find. even in jc, the number proved to be disappointing. i really do pray my friends stay true to me, so i can confide in them when i'm down!!

my first crush had made me realise how difficult maintaining friendship was. after that, a series of events that happened made me reflect and made me understood i was no longer in the protective arms of secondary school. sorry, i seem to dwell in the past. no worries im moving forward! but it's been great learning from what i experience with my jc friends. it did in a way woke me up, and forced me to be more streetwise, and i do hope my character would stay similar after entering uni! i'm still in a midst of finding m yself i guess, because if not, i would have been strong enough to filter what i will see and hear in future..

im afraid if im too careful, i cant find friends. but im also frightened that if i trust and commit easily, i will be let down again and again by disappointments. you get the DILEMMA? which is why sometimes when i start to think "anyhowly", i feel so super terrible.

my doubts can go on for days and i seriously hate that! until there's reassurance, i seriously brood over it for a long time.

i've learnt not to let my guard down- and i super totally hated that because i feel like a changed person. it makes me a hypocrite. i seriously hate hypocrites, and if i become one, i would definitely not be able to forgive myself!

i think i'm dwelling too much. it's hu si luan siang. this feeling of uncertainty sometimes just washes over you for no reason, and you start to doubt people. this is so wrong.

im going to stop typing. the entry can go on forever. i will just keep guessing. i mean, there shouldn't be anything against me when my conscience is clear like water!

i try to be neutral. but sometimes being neutral can get shoot at too. that's what i learnt in IJ. when things get seriuos, there needs to be a stand.

why am i talking about this. the czech vs switz is almost over. i can't watch because dad wants to sleep, so no one can go with me to watch..

it's like 1.30am
i just left msn, yet im still blogging
what's my problem.
im getting crazy.
headache.
stop thinking.
brain hurts.
goodnight.

8:54 AM :) :) :) :)

CHENGHONG}

convent girl to nyjc to NTU PSY
i like art.

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